Where is GOD when?

Lately I find myself wondering, "Where is GOD when I need him the most? Where is he when worlds start falling apart? Where is he when I really need him to answer my prayers?"

Yesterday I found out that my uncle has two tumors on his brain. When I read those words I just broke down. This man has been there ever since I was a little girl and I have grown so very close to him through the years. He means so much to me and I have never once told him that. He is like a second father to me, I have never told him that either. My kids call him Papa, they are convinced he is their grandpa... He loves that! This man has come so far from where he started out in life and he is an amazing person. I don't think he knows just how much I care for him, how much he has touched my life because... I have never told him. 

Yesterday I also found out that life is too damn short to refrain from telling anyone how they have impacted your life. I learned that the battles you face, the battles you think are too much, can be nothing compared to the battles someone you love faces. 

Yesterday I thought about his wife, my aunt, who has been there since the day I was born. Someone who truly is the second mother in my life. She is so much more than an aunt. She knows that! She knew it that day in Big 5 that I accidentally just called her mom while I was talking to her. Like it was nothing, I just said, "Hey mom! look at this!" It touched her heart, I know it did because she started crying. She is amazing and she loves this man so much. I know this is killing her. I pray for her to have the strength to make it through this with a strong face and a strong, forgiving heart. 

Today... Today I found out that they found two more tumors. One behind his heart and the other behind his left lung. I can't help but ask GOD why. I know he has a plan for my uncle. One that we wont understand and probably never will. Who am I to question GOD's plan? Who am I to question GOD at all? Yet I cannot help myself. There are so many things I wonder.. Why does everything start to fall apart just when they are starting to look up?

Today I got the answer to my question: "Where is GOD when I need him the most?"

He is carrying me. He is holding my hand through some of the toughest battles I have ever faced. Some of the steps I am taking have been the hardest ones of my life, yet GOD is carrying me with ease through these hard times.

I know he is carrying them too. I know he is by their side, holding their hands, and leading the way. I know he knows what he is doing. I know the only thing we can do is pray and pray hard. As hard as it is to believe, GOD always has a good reason for doing the things that he does so we just have to keep the faith and keep hope alive.